did you get engaged???
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
