Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the day after is always just damage control
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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