come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
