I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
