I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
