i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Send help, water and tortillas.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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