i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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