Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
