IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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