DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
