tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
