We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
