pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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