No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
