Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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