You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
