jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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