Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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