JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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