I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
