My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
