Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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