i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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