a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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