the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
