just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
