isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
