my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
