arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Drake has all the answers
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
