Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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