Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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