Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
