That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
