I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize