No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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