It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
