this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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