Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
