It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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