Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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