Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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