This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize