if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
