Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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