and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
