bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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