god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
