I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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