I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
