four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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