Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
