So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
