I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize