So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
