you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize