Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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