weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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