My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
