Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
