I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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