I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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