Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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