I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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