You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
