time to smoke my breakfast
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
