i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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