matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
