respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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